In case you missed them, here are ALL my bad mom lists:
And here are 10 more ways I am a bad mom:
- I fantasize about destroying the things my twins love most.
My twins are destroyers and a part of me wants to retaliate. They have not met a toy or anything they cannot damage.
- There is a sense of satisfaction when my kids start to cry as I discipline them. Seeing tears makes me feel like they are getting the message. It’s maddening to see them smiling and pretend nothing is wrong when I give them a time out.
- My kids eat food spilled on public floors. At least it is not food already laying on the ground. I just cannot catch everything and I like to think it builds their immune system.
- I am OK with getting looks, sighs, and eye rolls from strangers when my kids are melting down in public. I am not going to give in and rush them out of a public space so as not to disturb the delicate ears of complete strangers. It’s lesson-learning time for my kids. They are not going to get their way by throwing a tantrum in public. So yeah, go ahead, sit down on the floor, scream, and cry, and thrash about, I will wait until you are done exercising your demons and become human again. Strangers can walk away.
- I am not the mom who swoops in to “make everything better” for my kids. If another kid is upsetting or hurting my precious little snowflake, I will not be the parent to jump in and talk to the other grown-ups in charge. I am going to tell my kid how they should handle the situation themselves because I will not always be there to swoop in. Is someone bothering you or not being nice to you? Yeah, this will happen in life. Not everyone is going to be your friend. When this happens, you need to tell them to stop or walk away from them.
- My childcare situation has kept my kids alive and my kid is learning in school. So, no complaints from me. I was never the parent who cared all that much about what happens at day care or in school. I leave it to the childcare and education experts to make the call when needed. In the 6 years I have been a parent, I have not felt moved to intervene.
- My favorite play dates are those I am not invited to join. I am SO happy to NOT be physically present in play dates for my kids. It is beyond magical to drop my girls off at their friends’ house and return to collect them a few hours later. This freedom is like breathing air after being under water for the past 5 years.
- I am not throwing kiddie birthday parties. Until my kids have actual friends they want to invite to a birthday party, there will be no goodie bag budget. Instead, my husband and I take off from work on birthdays and plan a special family day full of all the things the birthday kid loves (including a new addition this year, breakfast in bed – oy princesses)!
- My quality time with kids often involves cooking and cleaning. I do not really enjoy imaginary play, so we will vacuum, do laundry or bake something. They do not consider the household chores work (it’s equal to playing with dolls). My girls have quality mama-time and I cross items off on my mental to do list. Everyone is happy! I’ll build them Lego castles any day though.
- Warning: My kids know A LOT about life cycle events. They know about death, how babies are birthed into the world and how babies are made. More than once, I have answered the question of “Where was I?” with “You were not born yet, you were just an egg in me and the sperm hadn’t been made by daddy yet.” It’s my responsibility to tell them the truth. If this comes up in conversation with kids who don’t know, you’ve been warned.
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