If you feel like your marriage is stuck in a rut or you are just barely keeping it together…
…I’m pretty sure taking the time to focus on your marriage and/or relationship does not top your to do list right now. I get it, who wants to delve into this heavy stuff all the time (I love this sort of analytical stuff, but I’m an anomaly)? Moreover, who has time to find a good marriage counselor, schedule the appointments, and find a baby-sitter? It’s a lot.
Instead of going through all of that, here’s a series of simple questions you can answer with your partner (or alone) to help you jump start getting the spark back.
It’s fun to print these questions out, write your answers down, then switch papers with your partner.
Do this over a date night dinner with some adult beverages! You may be surprised to see what you each have to say!
DISCLAIMER: I am not a marriage counselor, nor pretend to know anything about the esteemed profession. This is just what I have found helpful when it comes to communicating with my husband.
Questions to ask yourself and your partner (aka do-it-yourself marriage counseling):
- How did you and your partner communicate when you first got together?
- Over the years, how has your communication style changed? Does a lot go unsaid or just assumed?
- Do you expect your partner to anticipate your needs and vice versa?
- How would you LIKE to communicate now?
- What did you think marriage would be like before starting a family and how did it compare to reality?
- How did you think your marriage would change after having kids?
- How did your life/marriage actually change after having 1 baby?
- If you could go back in time to your “newlywed” days, what would you tell yourself about parenthood with 1 baby, additionally, what would you tell yourself about life with two kids? (aka What is something you wish you knew before having a baby?)
- What does quality time with your spouse look like to you now (with kids)?
- If you could add 2 hours to the day (making it 26 hours), what would you do with this extra time? (If your first answer is sleep, what would be your second choice?)
- Who do you want to be when your kids leave the nest?
- Who do you want to hang out with after your kids leave the nest?
- What do you hope for the future?