I hold myself back from buying my kids everything in the world. BUT, if I think about going out on a date with my hubby (which means paying for dinner, drinks, an activity and a babysitter), I feel like I need to justify it. What’s up with that?!
Date night is an investment against getting a divorce, but I don’t spend the money as easily.
Recently, I’ve been emailing some friends celebrating their wedding anniversaries. They were doing it up right… painting the town red and I thought, “We should not feel like we need to justify spending a good time with our hubbies.” I think these are the times we all need with our partners to solidify ourselves as a couple, team, unit… whatever before we lose sight of who we are without the kids.
In the past year, I have been making more of an effort to plan dates with my hubby
Dates are our opportunity to do something different, focus on something besides the immediate needs of our children, and remember what it’s like to just be us. The “kid years” are about 20 years of a marriage, so once we’re empty-nesters I don’t want to look across the dinner table and think, “Who are we together?” Some of our dates have been Groupon.com finds to check out new restaurants, but I get bored with the usual dinner and movie, so I try to find different stuff like seeing a comedian we both really like or even something daring like a ropes course (I literally have never been more scared walking/jumping off a 50 foot platform). (Side note: I see why The Bachelor/Bachelorette almost always has a bungee jump or adrenaline-inducing date because you really bond with the person you’re with!)
So this is my call to all couples in the parenting trenches, don’t forget to make yourself a priority too! I truly believe if I lose sight of who I am as a partner to my husband, we lose our connection and it’s a slippery slope from there. Make time for you and your partner because you deserve it (and it’s way less expensive than a divorce)!