Do we ever feel like we left high school?

Oh the high school angst.

I often think about the people I know now and wonder if we would have been friends in high school. For a good chunk of my friends I say yes because we have been friends since high school.  The friends I make now make me think, ‘If you talked to me in high school, I would have thought “Oh my gosh, the cool kid is talking to me!”’

My graduating class had nearly 1,000 kids, so it was easy to blend in.  I found my crowd in the smart, but not super dorky group.  Years later, I learned we were considered the cool smart kids.  I guess because we threw really good parties when parents were out of town, and yes there was alcohol (although I didn’t have my first drink until after graduation – I was happy to be the DD for everyone).  We actually threw a party at a friend’s house while she and her whole family were on vacation!  The next door neighbor questioned us, and I doubt they bought our story of “house sitting” with a rowdy crowd of teenagers drinking liquor and beer in the backyard.  The cops were not called.  Phew.

I was the good girl in high school.

I was driven, smart, but nice and approachable.  I did NOT have a boyfriend, but I had my fair share of crushes and this is the point I want to get to.  I never thought I would find someone.  I never thought I would find my partner in crime.  After 10+ years of being with my honey, I still cannot believe I have a lifelong boyfriend!!!  Those exclamation points are for high-school-Michelle internally jumping up and down and squealing with delight!

Okay, we’re married and we have three kids together, but there are moments I look at my forever boyfriend (aka hubby) and feel like I’m back in high school and I cannot believe I got to marry someone I would have totally crushed on if I knew him when I was 16 years old.

Did I have a type?

Well, I was always attracted to tall, smart guys with light hair and eyes.  In my 20s I always dated tall guys with light hair/eyes and they were all smarty-pants (Ivy League fellas or doctors).  Oh wait, I just realized my hubby has his PhD from an Ivy League school… how predictable of me.  Oh well.

I think I will always carry the insecure high school girl around inside of me

I will always feel like I need to pinch myself when I see my hubby sitting across from me at the dinner table, chilling on the couch, or just holding my hand.  Who is this girl with a boyfriend?! I like knowing he’s my forever Valentine.  (Oy the stress of Valentine’s day and prom without a boyfriend!)  I will always get butterflies thinking of him.  I know I married my true love (the boy I fantasized about in my head when I was 16 years old) because simply said, he’s my favorite person.  So I guess high-school-Michelle is pretty stoked.

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