I am a writer for a few websites, and one of my Kveller posts has become quite popular. I’ve had a good time reading the comments. They are hilarious, when I am in the right frame of mind (and I distance myself as the writer they are commenting about). When the comments are unkind, an initial zing runs through my body. I can literally feel the adrenaline release into my bloodstream and my instinct is to go to battle and explain myself. Then I pause, breathe and remember I already explained myself in the piece.
I like being thought-provoking and comments (kind or nasty) means people are reading my stuff and this is the most a writer could ask for as a writer!
I have already accomplished my mission by sharing my truth. It is obvious when people do not like what I have to say, but I am not looking for people to always agree with me. I write my truth as I experience it.
After I feel the zing of a mean comment, I remember the commenters don’t know me. My writing reveals a super specific part of my life in 500-700 words. People do not do their research or even carefully read what I wrote before commenting. I know this because they get a lot of stuff straight up wrong. My go to reaction is not to respond at all. Giving haters attention is reinforcing the behavior I want to extinguish, their knee-jerk nasty comments. It’s like Triple P for adults! Although this blog post is giving them attention, so may be contradicting myself right now.
A short list of things commenters have said about me, which is just plain WRONG:
- I’m not Jewish enough
- I am not Jewish at all
- I have 5 children (uhhhh, I misplaced 2 kids?)
- I am against vaccinations (NOTHING could be further from the truth)
- I am the epitome of selfishness because I do not text. (I do not text for a number of reasons, namely to truly be present and connect with the people in real life)
I stand by every word I write because I read everything ad nauseam before making the final click to send my words out for public consumption and scrutiny. My intention is always pure and I never write to hurt someone purposefully. This is why I only write positive comments. How does it help anyone to spread negativity?
When I share something particularly vulnerable, I have consistently received support like #metoo. This is what has been the most rewarding part of being a writer for me. Writing is cathartic and physically healing for me. Then to know my written shared experience has helped someone else is the cherry on top of my delicious life-sundae (3 scoops with hot fudge and whipped cream).
Why does someone feel SO strongly about something I write?
I believe if someone is upset by something I write, it’s a reflection of how they feel about themselves and clearly an area for them to add to their “items for self-exploration.”