Friends often say, “Michelle, I did what you would do. I pulled a Michelle.” Am I a verb? Why are people not doing what they want?
Things I have been told related to “pulling a Michelle:”
“I thought, What would Michelle do in this situation? And I did it!”
“You were in my head when I decided to do this. I could hear your voice telling me what to do.”
“Even though you are way younger than me…I want to grow up to be just like you!”
“Pulling a Michelle”
verb | pull·ing· a mi·chelle | pul-ing A mee-shell
- following your heart’s desire
- living your vitality
- when one does what they actually want to do, instead of what one feels outside pressures would prescribe he/she should do
TRUTH: I’m just doing what I want to do. I don’t know why the majority of people do not and instead do what they feel like they should do. People place too much value on what others think.
This is confusing me.
I live my life the best way I know how without excuses. I am not concerned with how others feel about me or what I do. In return, I really love myself, and I have a great job, marriage and home life with my children. This is what I care about more than anything else.
For those really concerned about doing what they should, I say:
What I should do is what I want to do – ta da, disconnect solved!
When presented with a situation where I have to make a diametrically opposed choice, I ask myself “What do I want? What is best for my family?” What I want usually lines up with what is best for my family too because a happy mama = a happy family (this translates to me NOT signing my kids up for extracurricular activities for a variety of reasons).
It took a long time (like 25 years) for me to truly figure out who I am and embrace it whole-heartedly. Now I live my truth without feeling guilt over disappointing others because their disappointment is not a reflection of who I am. I will never be able to change how they feel.
I love myself the way I love my children, completely unconditionally.
Everyone deserves this kind of self-love and acceptance. Let your soul shine for the whole world to see!
Examples of how I have done what I want instead of what most people feel obligated to do:
I shared my reasons why, I spoke from my heart, and I stepped up in other ways (which I wanted to do) to celebrate their weddings, but I never worried they would stop being my friend. (Petty friends need not apply.)
I go to only a fraction of the little kid birthday parties we are invited to attend.
We get a lot of invites and my RSVP is set to “No thank you” unless I am good friends with the parents. Am I totally dismissing my kids’ potential to socialize? Perhaps, but they are 5 and 3 years old and they will have their whole lives to make friends. My kids’ best friends live with them; it’s me, their daddy and sisters. In reality, going to a birthday party is a commitment of my time and my time is my greatest commodity. I am not interested in watching my kids run around (usually during their naptime – where I nap too) with a gaggle of kids I don’t know and chitchat with other parents for 2+ hours until pizza and cake is topped off with a bag of goodies which will ultimately litter my living room floor.
Moreover, I am an introvert, so I don’t see how this is enriching my life. Hard pass. On any given Saturday or Sunday, you can find me at home napping in the afternoon (it’s glorious).
I have come to a place in my life where I don’t care what other parents think about me. My internal dialogue does not focus on what other people will say about me because I cannot control their opinion, so I will focus on myself. This is selfish, but so much more emotionally productive.
I have made peace knowing there are people who do not understand me.
There are people who live in a world of “you should do this” and they do it. I, unabashedly, march to the beat of a different drummer. I cannot force others to see where I’m coming from no more than they can change what I do. I certainly will not enter a head space where I anguish over what others think about me. I know what I care about and what my goals are, I work towards my goals and if others are not on board, it’s OK. What others think about me is none of my business, and they aren’t looking anyway.