I’ve gained weight

I’ve written a lot about my body image and my overall weight loss journey after having twins.  Now I have to come clean.  I’ve gained weight.  Phew, I said it.  It didn’t come as a huge surprise since I noticed my clothes were getting a little uncomfortable.  After not stepping on a scale for easily 6+ months, I did and I was OK with the number I saw (20 pounds more than my lowest weight).  Instead of feeling embarrassed, I am actually impressed my clothes fit as well as they do considering the difference and I really have my stylist to thank for that!  She knows how to make me look good no matter what.

Weight gain: not surprised it happened, and I’m not going down a spiral of shame either. I’m not even looking to lose 20 pounds to get to my lowest weight.  I want to feel comfortable in my clothes and my skin.  To be honest, the twin pregnancy gave me a little tummy pouch which I don’t mind, but I know it can be ever-so-slightly smaller and that’s my objective.  Not perfection, comfort.  I don’t know what the number on the scale would need to be for this, but I’m curious to find out.

At my lowest weight
At my lowest weight

The fact I could gain weight and still fit in my clothes, and still look good, means I don’t need to see a certain number on the scale to look and feel my best. But I do want to feel more comfortable, so I am NOT turning to a diet or even going back to Weight Watchers (WW), which really helped me lose pregnancy weight.  I have to give major credit to WW because the program taught me about portion size, foods which will fill me up better (like raisins compared to grapes) and how to make smarter choices.  It gave me an awesome healthy eating foundation.

20 pounds heavier now
20 pounds heavier now

How I plan to lose some pounds now is not with a program or plan. One of my best friends said I have all the knowledge and tools I need to make this happen.  I know she’s right.

Here’s what I’m going to do to lose weight:

  1. Keep a mindful food diary to focus on eating when I’m actually hungry. I am the type of person who likes documentation, but I didn’t like logging points with WW. Instead of tracking points, I want to jot down what I am eating, but also how hungry I am at the time using a hunger scale (a great tool to keep me mindful), and how I’m generally feeling and my intention for eating in the moment (bored, anxious, celebrating… I eat for lots of reasons other than hunger).
  2. Step on the scale once a week. This is something I’m borrowing from WW, the weekly weigh in. This keeps me accountable.
  3. Meditate. Just getting 5 minutes of meditation first thing in the morning totally changes my attitude for the day. I feel calm and that’s important when getting three little ones out the door by 7am!  I know I eat when anxious, so starting my day off with meditation is a good tool for me.
  4. Reread “The Slow Down Diet: Eating for Pleasure, Energy, and Weight Loss” by Marc David. This book makes so much sense, I need to read it twice!
  5. Be OK with “just being.” The end of the day comes and I fight the urge to multitask and do more once the girls are in bed (which is by 8pm). I want to feel comfortable just reading or watching a movie without needing to snack while working on a project.
  6. Incorporate movement I enjoy into my life. I got to my lowest weight without stepping one foot in a gym. I enjoy moving my body in ways I find fun like riding my bike, yoga, swimming, or taking walks with my friends/family. I know I don’t need to log hours at the gym sweating my face off to lose weight. It’s not fun for me, and I know I will not keep it up.
  7. Honor my body. I will eat what sounds good to me in the moment. If I really want something sweet, I’ll eat something sweet. This means I’m happy having some ice cream instead of depriving myself for days.  After deprivation, I then reward myself by eating the whole container because I was “so good” at avoiding it for a day (or few hours).  I will honor my body and satiate my cravings because I’m actually craving them for a reason.  A little chocolate now is healthier than binging on chocolate later.
  8. Sit down to eat dinner and pay attention to my meal. This is a big one. My kids sit down to eat, and I should too. I deserve to give myself the opportunity to actually pay attention to my meal and enjoy it at the end of the day.  This also means eating without distraction like reading, TV, or checking email.  If I am eating, I am only eating and enjoying the pleasure of food.  Look at the dish, smell my food, pay attention to textures.  I want to make eating my meal an experience.
  9. Put smaller/more realistic portions on my plate. My eyes are bigger than my stomach. I need a reality check when I am plating my food. If my stomach is the size of my fist, why am I eating a giant plate of food? I don’t need it, so I am doing myself a solid by putting the appropriate amount of food on my plate. If I am still hungry, I’ll get more, but I know if it’s just sitting on my plate, I’ll probably eat it out of habit and boredom.
  10. Appreciate this opportunity to get healthy again. When I do my BMI calculator I am still in the normal weight range, but I’m teetering on the edge of overweight (literally by ONE pound). This is a good opportunity for me to focus on myself (which is something moms really struggle with) and pay attention to what I need to be healthy.

Placing some sort of focus on my weight and body image is a journey I think I will always be on, but I’m going to make it a positive one. I’ll keep you posted on how this goes!

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