Mommy mentors are the women who tell me what to expect

Ask-a-Mentor-MomI recently realized I have mom friends who I seem to follow like a lamb to a shepherd. Their kid signed up for gymnastics, and a few months later, my daughter signed up too.  They went on a family vacation to Disney World, so I’m planning a Disney vacation for later this year!  I sound like the kid sister following an older, wiser mom and copying whatever they do.  I am fiercely independent, so the thought of me being a mommy-sycophant makes me want to gag.  And then I think about these awesome moms and I have to admit, I’m glad I learn from their experiences.  When it’s my turn to enter a new stage in mommy-hood, I am happy to follow in their footsteps.

Who are my mommy mentors?

My mommy mentors seem to have some distinct similarities to me.

  1. Invariably, they have daughters older than my own and/or…
  2. They have three kids or more.

These ladies forge the way and they are so willing to share their knowledge and make my life easier.

What have I learned from my mommy mentors?

I get a preview of what’s to come like the Disney princess obsession and undying love for Dora the Explorer. I see my mentor’s daughters sign up for organized activities and I think, “Oh, I have lots of time before I need to worry about gymnastic schedules,” and then the next month my daughter is signed up.  My mentor tells tales of planning a Disney vacation and what she would do differently next time around and I make mental notes thinking I have time… and now I’m planning a Disney vacation.  This mama not only gives me hand-me-downs my daughters cherish, but also invaluable knowledge about what to expect next.  She’s like a glimpse of my future and it looks kind of exhausting (because we both have a tendency to over-plan), but also a ton of fun.

Another mommy mentor has a family with four young children and totally understands what it’s like to be outnumbered by your babies. She doesn’t sweat the small stuff because she just cannot.  We don’t have enough time or energy to devote to every concern and worry which easily plague mamas.  She makes it OK when I say things like, ‘I really felt “murdery” towards my 4 year old last night.’  But also gets super annoyed and mildly defensive when someone remarks “you have your hands full” acknowledging we have more than 2.5 kids with us while grocery shopping.  She gets it.  She makes being the mom to many young kids look effortless, fun and truly joyful even though we both know there are moments you feel like you’re just keeping your head above water, you really just want to take a nap, but you still wouldn’t trade your life for anything in the world.

I talk to my best friends about motherhood a lot. I think it is fun to trade tips, discuss different parenting tricks, and ponder how what we’re doing now will impact our kids in the future.  I am so grateful for my mommy friends and my mommy mentors because I see myself in them and I think they are really great moms.  I’ll take all the help I can get!

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