I have heard more than once, “You make it look easy” when it comes to motherhood. I think I might gain some haters from this admission, but I don’t get the “mom struggle.” I would hate me too if I were in the mom struggle and trying to get through another day as I stumble across this post. I don’t think motherhood is necessarily easy, but I am not in the trenches of the mom struggle.
I don’t get the mom struggle and it’s not because I have the perfect marriage and my kids behave perfectly (believe me, they turn into gremlins from 5-7pm every day). I have REALLY thought through a lot of big life decisions to get where I’m at right now in my heart and mind, and one of the positive side effects has been avoiding the mom struggle. This has been my journey.
Reasons #1-4 Why I Don’t Get the Mom Struggle
1. I’m just not hard-wired for stress or anxiety
One of my best friends told me I am “not easily rattled or stressed, so I don’t naturally find Mommying stressful. Some people are wired for stress, drama, and complaining.”
2. I know what matters most to me
My bestie also shared, one of my successes is I have a crystal-clear perspective of what matters to me and what does not. I don’t want it all, and thus aren’t reaching for it all the time. This did not come with some bumps in my road (actually, some flat out falling onto my face moments too). I have struggled to get to this place of peace and calm.
I don’t expect every day to be chockfull of amazingness. I don’t aspire for my life to look like a magazine spread or coveted Instagram account.
When my kids were infants my expectations were really low. It was a good day if I kept them fed, relatively clean and generally happy (hair combed and clothes without stains are optional). As they grew older and the inevitable tantrums and discipline became a priority, I relied on positive parenting and mindful parenting. Still, it’s always a crapshoot. What may calm my kid down today will not work tomorrow. I just have to roll with the punches.
4. I do not overschedule, I protect my sleep, I do not feel pressure to do what I “should” and I say no to invitations I don’t really want
My kids are not signed up for extracurricular activities unless they show a genuine interest themselves. This means I am not running around town to make it to practice and buying one-time use dance recital costumes. I do what I want to do without making excuses.